Project WC - start here

We might be waiting for planning permission, but there are some jobs we can be getting on with to avoid doing everything at once. Our next projects are the downstairs loo (aqua suite, rotten spore-ridden plaster and carpet that smells of well, wee) and splitting the master bedroom in half to create two smaller bedrooms. However, none of that can be tackled until we've replaced the affected windows, partly because replacing windows later will damage new tiles but also because one of the new bedrooms would be left without an opening window.

Incredibly, most of the windows to our front elevation are non-opening; huge plates of glass 2.7 metres wide, which I'm sure would break several building regulations and send jobs-worth types spinning. Like sixties cladding, they were once the done thing (our neighbour has the same).

The top picture shows one of the first to be replaced - one window frame spanning two rooms (bottom of the stairs and downstairs loo). You'll be relieved to hear that the right hand panel is obscured glass but I've never seen anything quite like it - the dividing frame disappears into the dividing wall leaving hardly any visible frame wherever you view it from.

And then there's all the hand-wringing and soul searching that goes on trying to decide whether to use UPVC (apparently the work of the devil) or aluminium or wood. Wood is traditional but we've had wooden frames in the past and they require lots of maintenance. In any case, the variations in our brickwork make it hard to decide what colour you'd paint them, which means you'd probably paint them white and from the road they'd look exactly like UPVC anyway.

And then there's aluminium, which is about 25% more expensive and comes in an array of colours, the only one of which I like is the gunmetal grey. This would work beautifully against the rendered parts of the front elevation but wouldn't look quite so right against the brickwork, which kind of counts it out.

We're going for UPVC. Eddie the window man rang this evening to say our first two windows are ready and wanting to know whether he can fit them on Wednesday. The handles are chrome. I'm going to use them with gay abandon...